New Year's Resolutions about Internet Porn (or anything else)

In a recent sermon, Tullian was addressing the mechanism of change in our lives--radical grace.  He had been counseling a man who had a problem with internet porn.  The man told Tullian that no matter how much he prayed, no matter how much he resolved to leave it off, he could not kick the habit.  (Obviously, if prayer wasn't getting it done, I doubt that a New Years' resolution would have.)  He told Tullian that he finally came to have some victory over internet porn when he realized that "God loved him just the same when he was watching internet porn as when he wasn't!"  Radical grace, not the law or resolutions, was the change agent!

A couple of years ago, I had a friend who wanted me to write down his parental code for his computer.  He was going to make up some incomprehensible code, so that he couldn't remember it.  Then, if he ever needed to change the controls, he could call me for the code.  As I was contemplating what he was asking, I thought:  "Do I believe in radical grace?  Do I believe that only grace can change us and not the law?"

I told my friend that I wouldn't do it.  I explained that God loved him whether he was watching internet porn or not and that God's grace was big enough to cover any sin, even repeated sins.  I explained that focusing on the sin and praying about the sin all of the time wouldn't change anything--it certainly had never changed anything for me.  (This type of praying is narcissism at its worst.)  I told him how I began to have freedom from anger and lust only when I reflected upon the things that God had done for me through Christ.  I told him that Christ died for all of our past, current, and future sins.  Christ's work on the Cross was finished.  I told my friend that he was already forgiven by God before he even asked.  We also discussed his sex life with his wife and how that could change for the better through radical grace (more on that in a later post).

About a month later, my friend called and told me what freedom he had gained from internet porn.  I was so thankful to God--I had refused my friend's request and instead had proclaimed what I understood to be the Gospel.  It was difficult for me to do so, because radical grace sounds so untrue, so unlikely.  But, time after time, radical grace changes lives.

I was discussing this issue with another friend of mine who doesn't have a computer at home because of internet porn.  He told me that he still fantasizes about sex quite frequently.  So, taking the internet away did not resolve matters for him.  I told him what I had told my other friend and what Tullian had said.  I pray that grace will grip him and give him victory over this.  I also told him to get married.  Thankfully, so thankfully, my wife and I have a wonderful love life, but only after allowing God's radical grace to work in it.

Why don't New Years' resolutions about internet porn or anything else work?  Luther put it well:

The law of God, the most salutary doctrine of life, cannot advance man on his way to righteousness, but rather hinders him.

This is made clear by the Apostle in his letter to the Romans (3:21): »But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law.« St. Augustine interprets this in his book ›The Spirit and the Letter‹ (De Spiritu et Littera): »Without the law, that is, without its support.« In Rom. 5:20 the Apostle states, »Law intervened, to increase the trespass«, and in Rom. 7:9he adds, »But when the commandment came, sin revived.« For this reason he calls the law »a law of death« and »a law of sin« in Rom. 8:2. Indeed, in 2 Cor. 3:6 he says, »the written code kills«, which St. Augustine throughout his book ›The Spirit and the Letter‹ understands as applying to every law, even the holiest law of God.

Christianity is the only religion that says that the law cannot bring about what it commands.  The commands of the law are perfect and beautiful, but they are not efficacious in bringing about change.  Only the radical grace of Christianity can bring about change.