There are two theories of life--one is much more prevalent than the other and insidiously wrong. The first is what is theologically termed the "third use of the law." Some examples: "God helps those who help themselves." "Run the good race." "Fight the good fight." (By the way, I'm not denigrating St. Paul. I just think his words are very often mis-taught.) These are religious affirmations that I grew up with. These are American ideals that I grew up with. "Now that you are a Christian, live the holy, pious, upstanding life." What an unbelievable burden! This is how we control others, or attempt to control others. This is how most preachers try to make their congregations look "just and upright." Jesus chastised the religious folks of his day for heaping burdens on others. According to Jesus, the antithesis of this is love.
These affirmations are fundamentally flawed, flawed to the core (at least in the way that they are customarily taught). If you have any doubt about the fallacy of these statements, consider death, the grim reaper, the cessation of your life, and the fact that no one will remember your "good deeds" for long after your death. Think about it--by the time of your great, great grandchildren, most memories of you will be gone. No one will remember whether you "fought the good fight" or not. In other words, our "good deeds" are but chaff in the wind (at their best.) More importantly, at their worst, our good deeds and our efforts to have our loved ones live "good lives" are strangling, murderous impediments to love. What will be known, if not remembered, is the extent that you loved and passed along love. Your grandchildren will either be the victims of your living "the third use of the law" or the beneficiaries of your living a life of love.
My grandchildren, if I'm fortunate enough to have any, won't be discussing whether I was a successful lawyer. They won't be ruminating over whether I had a vibrant Sunday School class or was a church leader. What they will be considering--if anything--is the degree to which I have passed along generational curses. To the extent that our lives are filled with achievement, or efforts to achieve, that is the extent to which we will pass along generational curses. To the degree that our lives are filled with love and grace, that's the degree to which we can defeat generational curses. Our capacity to love arises only when we truly suffer defeat, when we lose rather than win by this world's standards.
The second theory of life was expressed by Abba in its wonderful song, "Waterloo." Thanks once again to PZ for prompting many of these thoughts with his recent Podcast about Abba. He discusses the lyric from Waterloo--"I feel like I'm winning when I lose." Loss in this life turns us from the baubles, glamor, and promises of this world to something higher and more real--the eternal love of our Creator. Of course, some people simply become embittered by loss. But, if you recognize the value of loss, recognize that it diverts our attention from seeking the pleasure and recognition of this world, it frees us to pursue and find what is truly eternal. Fortunately for mankind, God has revealed his true nature through his Son. He has revealed his eternal, unchanging character. He loves the sinner (which is all of us), while he upbraids those who are religious--those who think they are living righteous lives. This is such wonderful news--it truly is "Good News." (Jesus and St. Paul both lived lives which reflected this second theory.)
Our knowledge of God's character frees us from our efforts to be good. It causes us to fall on our knees, to lift up our voices, in thankfulness to God. It causes us to experience joy that was once incomprehensible. When we experience this thankfulness, our failures at work, in parenting, in relating to our wives become opportunities to repent and love more. When we are working to be good, we either ignore our failures or we become despondent rather than thankful. For years, I ignored my sins, and their impact on my wife and children, because I thought that I was a "good person," living an otherwise "good life." Since I was a "good person," I expected my wife and children to be "good people." What burdens I was heaping on them! My wife wasn't free to live or to love, because she thought that she wasn't a "good person." (She couldn't measure up to my expectations.) This caused her to live just as shallow of a life that I was living. This is how we pass along generational curses--by placing expectations on one another and thereby stifling love. Once liberated from having to do good, I was free to confess my sins, to repent, and to seek forgiveness. More importantly, I was free to love. I was free to love my wife and children whether they were "good people" or not. Once liberated from having to do good, my wife was freed from shame and guilt and able to express love more deeply and truly.
Similarly, Christ has freed us from God's expectations. God doesn't expect us to "run the good race" or to "fight the good fight." God expects us to sin, and to sin, and to sin. This is why He sent His son--to liberate us, not just in the after-life but in this life as well, from the sin that He knew we would commit. Christ spoke in no uncertain terms of His expectations if we tried to be good--we must be "perfect" if we try to be good. Or, we can simply acknowledge our fallenness, give up on being good, and embrace His overwhelming, life-altering love. This frees us from expectations. This allows us to actually love others, without expecting anything in return. This allows us to live lives that actually look "better." This is how we "win when we lose." This is how we "run the race" of life. This is how our lives can live on, probably not in memory, but in our impact on the generations to come.
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