"Slim Shady's crazy. Shady made me, but tonite he's rock-a-by-baby."
In the "When I'm Gone" video, Eminem appears at what is clearly an AA meeting.
In response to: "Is there anyone else who'd like to share with us tonite," Enimem launches into one of the most confessional raps/songs/speeches that I've heard. As Christians, we're supposed to confess our sins one to another. Eminem gets this.
He begins by telling us how much he loves his daughter--that he would "give an arm for her"--that he would "destroy anyone who tries to harm her." What happens when you then become the person harming her--you become the "main source of her pain," he raps.
"Daddy, where's mommy?" (They've been divorced two times.) He dismisses her saying that he's got to write a song and catch a plane. He tells her to "swing by herself."
Then, "you turn right around and, in that song, tell her you love her--and put hands on her mother, who's the spitting image of her."
Talk about a divided self--not doing what he desires (loving his daughter) but doing what he doesn't desire (leaving his daughter, even doing violence to her mother--the "spitting image of her").
Remarkably, Eminem arrives at the same place as St. Paul: "Wretched man that I am. Who will deliver me from this body of death?" "Tonite, he's rock-a-by-baby."
In Christianity, we believe that self-improvement plans don't work. We believe that we are such inveterate sinners, so incapable of doing the right thing, that a death is necessary. St. Paul cried out for deliverance. Eminem cries out for deliverance.
St. Paul gave us the answer: "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
How can this be the answer to the divided self?
Our divided selves react negatively to the law. When someone tries to tell us how to live our lives, we are prone, even programmed perhaps, to do the opposite. When our wives, bosses, even best friends try to tell us what we should do, we revolt! We hate the law!
How much worse is it then, when we believe that God is laying the law down for us to follow? We revolt that much more. Sure, some people may seem to outwardly keep the law, but their hearts are not in it, they're not in love with God. As Jesus said, if you look in their hearts, there is no goodness, only self-righteousness.
But, when we realize that Jesus removed the demand of the law--that we are free from "having" to keep the law, then we "want" to keep it. When we know that God loves us, irrespective of our actions, we are slain--maybe even "slain in the spirit," as the Pentecostals claim. We die, and a new person arises--a person who, through the grace of God, begins to keep the law out of love for God, not out of duty.
"All this time I couldn't see. How could it be that the curtain is closing on me. I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it, and put it to my brain. Shady's _____"
Then, at the instant of death, Eminem's eyes are opened. He awakes as if it has all been a bad dream.
"That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringing, birds are singing, Hallie's outside swinging."
"I walk right up to Kim and kiss her, tell her I miss her. Hallie just smiles and winks at her little sister."
In real life, Slim Shady does seem to have died. Indeed, this song "When I'm Gone" was the swan song of "Slim Shady." Eminem decided to kill off this persona and try for a new life. According to Kim's mother, Kim and Eminem are back together. She says that both struggled with addiction for years, but seem to be clean. According to the mother, they intend to give their relationship another go.
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