Laying down of arms--in marriage and football

For years, my wife and I saw only the bad traits in one another.  I'm sure that we saw each other's good qualities, but we focused on changing the bad qualities.  How do you think this went?  Not well, not well at all.  We went from being friends to thinly veiled enemies.  But, we're no different than anyone else.  This is the way that humans work--we want others to be like us and we want to be like others.  This leads to warfare--warfare designed to bring the other person in line with who we want them to be.  Or warfare designed for our views to triumph.  When the warfare gets bad enough, divorce results.  The antidote comes in learning to appreciate the other's good qualities, and accepting the bad qualities.  Often the "bad" qualities are really just good qualities taken to an extreme.  When acceptance occurs, the other person becomes free to let the good part of the "bad" quality reign.  For me, it was anger.

PLEASE NOTE THAT SOMETIMES MORE THAN MERE ACCEPTANCE IS REQUIRED.  I AM NOT SAYIN TO JUST LIVE WITH SOMEONE WITH AN ANGER PROBLEM.  OFTENTIMES OUTSIDE HELP IS REQUIRED.

Does this idea of accepting others as they are, and accepting ourselves as we are, have any application to the war between Alabama and Auburn?

Alabama fans want to feel superior to Auburn, and Auburn fans want to tear down Alabama's football program or at least beat Alabama.  This is nothing short of insanity.  Football, football, football.  I've written recently about the humor that Jesus expresses in reflecting upon the human condition of the Pharisees.  Well, we Alabama fans (in general) are clearly the Pharisees--the elder brother.  The Auburn fans (in general) are clearly the Prodigal--the younger brother.  We need to see the humor in putting so much of ourselves into football.  (This applies equally to me--I bleed Crimson.)

How do we go about changing our minds?  Well, Debbie and I began looking at the good qualities in one another.  Debbie is a wonderful mother--much more relational than me.  I didn't like her lack of order.  I am the more orderly one, but often I would put order ahead of relationships.  As we have begun appreciating the good traits in one another, order has lost its pre-eminence, and I have become more relational.  For Debbie, now order has become much more ingrained in her life.

What can Alabama appreciate about Auburn?  Well, they feed us.  They put astronauts in space.  Are food and the conquering of space more important than football?  If you don't think so, then you might be the one needing outside help.

What can Auburn appreciate about Alabama?  the law school and medical school.

Where has this war led us?  too much time, effort and money wasted on football.  The mere existence of the Paul Finebaum show is an indictment of the State of Alabama.  I'm not for dismantling either school's football program, but I am for putting football into its proper perspective.  I am for healing differences so that Alabama, 48th or 49th on most lists, can actually move forward for the sake of its citizens.  So, Roll Tide and War Damn Eagle--not as battle cries--but as salutes to what these schools bring to the State outside of football.