When I woke this morning and checked Facebook, I saw an earnest prayer from a pastor affirming that only Jesus can deliver our culture from the effects of porn. It irritated me. Then I saw a post where the British PM is working to prevent Internet Providers from streaming porn into everyone's house. It gave me hope. Then, I saw a post about striving against lust--that Jesus tells us to strive against lust or we will love our salvation. I got pissed again.
Porn is the natural (sinful but natural) outgrowth of a God-given desire. Does anyone ever acknowledge this? But for God having instilled a remarkably strong attraction in men for women, the human race would have become extinct before it ever got started. The human race would have been a mere blip in time but for the God-given instinct to procreate. Yet, instead of recognizing this instinct as God-given, we cover it up. We call it lust, and we try to shame people out of lust.
How is this working for you? Are you ashamed enough yet to not watch porn? No, probably not. Shame never delivers us from a problem, but instead drives us deeper into that problem. Shame is the impact of the teaching of the Law without the commensurate teaching of Grace. Luther said (paraphrasing) that the Law (while being the most salutary doctrine of God) cannot lead us to righteousness but instead leads us into unrighteousness. So, pointing out that porn is a problem (and it is a huge one) is not going to deliver anyone. In fact, it only drives the problem further underground in men's lives.
Is there a way to obtain deliverance from porn? How did Jesus deal with people with sexual sin? Did Jesus shame the prostitute? Jesus had every opportunity to. Jesus could have even allowed her to die--the Pharisees were getting ready to stone her. Instead, Jesus saved her from stoning: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." When Jesus wrote in the sand, it was like God writing on the wall in the Book of Daniel. God was pronouncing judgment, but not on the prostitute, rather on the self-righteous.
The prostitute knew that her way of life was wrong. Men know that porn is wrong. The Law and shame will never lead one to deliverance. But, if we turn from ourselves, we find some help in overcoming porn. Plus, it is helpful to find the grace in sexual desire, rather than condemning ourselves for it. This is something of a Law/Grace analysis.
Porn is not only harmful to men individually, it is harmful to our culture in general, and it is most harmful to those engaged in making the porn. Some years ago, I saw an interview in USA today with a young porn star. She grew up in a strict, religious home and left for the bright lights (and supposed freedom) of Hollywood. There, she made it into movies, but the wrong kind. Her life was the most bleak that I have ever heard described. She had a boyfriend who was a porn actor. He had recently broken up with her, and she wanted him to take her back. She wanted him to take her back even though it would mean living with him and his three other girlfriends. Plus, she described that the more dangerous the sex act, the more money she was paid. So, the movie producers paid one thing for protected sex, but then paid more if she was willing to risk contracting a disease!!! This is heartbreaking--it is the ultimate fulfillment of the devolution of our culture.
Looking at the impact of porn on others can help give us the courage to set it aside. Additionally, speaking a word of grace about sexual desire can be liberating. Pastor Tullian tells the story of a parishoner who had struggled with porn for years. So long as he tried to shame himself into turning from porn ("God is watching you while you download porn"so you better stop--as one idiotic preacher said), he had no freedom. It only made matters worse. Yet, when he began to realize that God loved him even as he watched porn, he began to get some freedom from it.
If the Bible is correct, we are never completely freed from sin. This is also liberating, because if we think we will obtain complete victory over sin, we simply return to shame when we fail.
So, here are some truths that may be helpful in coming to grips with porn:
1)God gave a very strong procreative desire to men to keep the human race going;
2)this God-given desire for sex is not something to be ashamed of, but to be thankful for;
3)we will never find freedom from porn by shaming ourselves, but it is helpful to consider the impact that it is having on our families, our culture, and those persons who participate in the making of porn;
4)God isn't shaking his head in disgust at the people who look at porn or the people who engage in the making of porn;
5)God isn't readying to loose His lightning bolts upon you for watching porn;
6)instead, God is loving you right where you are--if you don't learn this from the NT teachings about Jesus, then your reading of the Scriptures has become too churchy. (I know churchy isn't a word, but it should be); and, finally,
7)as with all sin, don't expect or plan upon complete liberation. Instead, realize that, when you return to porn, God will once again give you the freedom to turn from it.
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