Opposites Attract--From Good to Bad to Good

We all marry the wrong people, because we are all sinners.  We all bring baggage into the marriage.  Sadly, sometimes the baggage is too much for the marriage to survive--even when the two people have good intentions towards one another.  Is there a view of marriage which gives the two people the best chance for survival of the marriage?

Opposites attract which begins as a good thing.  Your heart gets the pitter-patters, because you have come across someone who is innately different from you--yet they desire to be with you--even desire, supposedly, to spend the rest of their life with you.  This provides the intoxicating elixir called romantic love.  This is a good thing.  But for this romantic love, the human race would die out.

Yet, this state of intoxication doesn't last long.  The differences which were charming become tiresome and even the basis for disagreements and, many times, profound contempt for one another.  Take me and Debbie in our early marriage as examples.  I was organized--Debbie was not.  I highly valued truth--Debbie not so much. Debbie is very relational--I was not.  Debbie has great empathy--me not so much.  So, you can well imagine that we had disputes.  I valued having an orderly home and life over relationships with people.  This led to many, many conflicts over topics ranging from housekeeping, bill paying, parenting, to picking a church.  Our differences almost led to divorce.  This is the bad part.

Once you reach the bad times, the question is whether the bad times will continue to get worse (leading to divorce) or whether there will be redemption.  In order for there to be redemption, the differences must be seen not as issues to overcome, but as blessings.

Over time, I have come to appreciate Debbie's relational nature.  Thanks to Debbie, I finally have a relationship with my mother that I never dreamed possible.

Over time, Debbie has come to appreciate my organizational skills.  This has made our home more of a refuge from the disorganization of the world.

Over tine, I have come to appreciate Debbie's empathy.  This empathy has caused me to be empathetic towards myself, which has quieted the voices of suicide and depression.  Empathy towards myself has led to deeper relationships at work and in our neighborhood.

Over time, Debbie has come to appreciate the truth.  Speaking the truth allows us to deal with heart issues that we swept under the rug for years.

So, "opposites attract" seems to be a genetic and/or Divinely appointed means of building stronger and stronger marriages.