NOTE: TO MY DEAR AUBURN FRIENDS--PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY MY INCLUDING SABAN IN THIS POST. DO I THINK THAT SABAN IS GOD? HARDLY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SABAN IS A CHRISTIAN. BUT HIS PRINCIPLES OF HOW TO LIVE LINE UP WITH WHAT CHRIST SAID.
This week, two of my children were stressed due to their school situations. How does one respond to this? Tell them to quit, tell them to try harder, tell them to set goals and work towards them, tell them that it's going to be okay. None of these are the correct answer. If you truly understand Christianity, which means that you truly understand psychology, you know that the answer has to do with: the "process" (Nick); a procestual God (T.D.); the work, not the goal (Rod); and mercy to the sinners (Jesus).
T.D. says that we all want to jump ahead to the destination that God has for us. However, T.D. says that our relationship with God comes from the road, from the journey, not the destination. T.D. says that it comes from what happens "along the way." It is our interaction with Jesus through times of crisis "along the way" which assures us of His love for us. His love for us is the antidote to stress and, indeed, the answer to and for simply everything..
Nick says that you don't set a goal to be National Champions, you simply work each day to get better. In other words, you focus on and experience the road, not the destination. My friend Rod explains that, when we unduly focus on the destination, it places a performance burden on our shoulders, which hampers our progress. However, focusing on what is to be done in any one given day is a light burden. Rod also makes the wonderful point that, if we set goals, not only do we run the risk of not reaching the goal due to the burdensome nature of goals, but we also relegate ourselves to a lesser goal. In other words, if a child sets a certain grade point average as a goal, that child robs themselves of the chance to achieve an even higher grade point average. So, we handle stress by focusing on what needs to be done in that particular day, not by worrying about the future.
And finally, what did Jesus have to say about goals? Jesus was all about the journey--the process. First, He called His disciples to leave everything and follow Him. They weren't setting out to achieve any specific goals. Rather, they simply experienced the joy, wonder, and yes difficulty, of walking daily with Jesus. Second, Jesus told us that He would not heap burdens on us. He told us that His yoke was light. His yoke was light, because, once we surrender to Jesus, we walk with Him daily--much as Adam and Eve walked with God in the Garden. We follow Jesus' path--not some laundry list of what Christians are expected to do. Third, Jesus has done the yeoman's work--He came, died, and rose again to give us freedom from Satan and His minions. The work has already been done; all we have to do is walk out the relationship with Jesus.
Jesus liberates us from the performance-driven world that Satan, and so many churches, have foisted upon our shoulders. True ''good works" arise from our walking with Jesus and seeing where He wants us to go and what He wants us to do, not from setting goals to help others and participate in evangelism. If we are walking with Jesus, being surrendered to the process wrought by His Lordship, we will love and help others, and we will love and follow God and proclaim His goodness.
So, what do you tell children who are frustrated with issues at school? You help them to understand that God loves to work in our frustrations. He loves to step into our difficulties and provide liberation. God uniquely works in our weaknesses, in our times of difficulty, not in our times of ease--when things are going well. This is so that, when something good happens, we will know that it came from Him. So, walk with your children through difficulty, doing the "next right thing," doing what you are called to do in that particular day, and you will both grow to love Him more and more "along the way."
P.S. "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy tells a beautiful story of a father and son taking life day-by-day. However, I don't necessarily recommend the book, because it is a fairly graphic and horrific depiction of what a post-Apocalyptic world would be like. But, the light of the father's love for the son shines through the darkness, and the ending of the book is simply spectacular.
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